Chores No More

Chris: Hi, this is Chris. Welcome to Adventures in Odyssey.
John Avery Whittaker: Oh, hi there. Welcome to Odyssey. I'm John Avery Whittaker, but most folks around here call me Whit. Why don't you get the whole family together and join us for another exciting Adventure in Odyssey.
Heather: Famous dishwashing accidents in history. 85% of my time is spent doing chores.
Dwayne: You think we should head it off before it even gets started?
Heather: I think I've got a better idea. No more chores. No more chores.
Mom: Heather, that pile of dishes is still waiting for you downstairs.
Heather: I know Mom, I'll get to it.
Mom: It's also your turn to vacuum.
Heather: I'll just be a minute.
Mom: What are you doing?
Heather: Reading a magazine. I want to finish this article.
Mom: Heather, I've been after you all morning to get your chores done. The magazine can wait.
Heather: But I'm trying to find out what my romance quotient is.
Mom: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were doing something important. I'll get that.
Heather: Okay, that's done. My score is 65. 65. You are as romantic as a pimple. What?
Mom: It's for you.
Heather: Hello? Hi, Julie. No, I'm just. Never mind. What time? Great, I have to ask my mom. Mom?
Mom: Yeah?
Heather: Julie and the guys are going to the movies. Can I go?
Mom: What time?
Heather: About 20 minutes.
Mom: You'd have to set a speed record with those dishes to make that.
Heather: Can I do them after the movie?
Mom: You know the rules, chores first.
Heather: Mom.
Mom: We wouldn't even be having this discussion if you did them two hours ago when I first told you to. Now finish the dishes and the vacuuming, then you can go with your friends.
Heather: The movie will be over by then.
Mom: Oh well, the video should be out in a year.
Heather: Julie, I can't go. Never mind. I'll see you tomorrow. Guess Cinderella's not going to the ball again. Hi, Mr. Whittaker.
Julie: Hi, Mr. Whittaker.
John Avery Whittaker: Hi, Heather. Hi, Julie.
Heather: Where are they? They said they'd meet us here.
Julie: Over in the corner booth.
Dwayne: Ivan, I am your father.
Ivan: My father?
Dwayne: Yes, and Mary Lou, the space princess, is your mother.
Heather: Who? Dwayne, why are you talking into your glass?
Julie: He's quoting the movie we saw last night.
Dwayne: Hi, Heather.
Heather: I wish I could have gone.
Ivan: Yeah, where were you anyway?
Heather: Home, and thanks for asking, Ivan.
Dwayne: Doing what?
Heather: Dishes.
Ivan: Bummer.
Heather: Go on, make fun of me. I know you're going to.
Ivan: Why would we do that? You're not the only one who's missed out on something because you had to do chores.
Dwayne: Yeah, I missed out on summer last year because I put off doing the dishes.
Heather: It's a worldwide epidemic. You know, I don't mind doing chores that much, but I don't have any time for myself. I go to school and I come back home and do my homework, then it's dinner, then by the time I get all my chores done, I have to go to sleep.
Julie: This is not news, Heather. I never have enough time. I've got a big project due next week for history and I haven't even started yet. If my parents don't give me a break from chores, I might as well hand in a blank sheet of paper.
Heather: So why aren't you home doing it now?
Julie: What do you mean?
John Avery Whittaker: Can I get anybody anything?
Ivan: I'll have a chocolate milkshake.
Julie: Me too.
Heather: Strawberry milkshake, please.
Dwayne: Just some water for me.
Heather: I've never seen you pass up a milkshake.
Dwayne: I'm saving up for a new guitar.
Ivan: No wonder you made me buy your ticket last night.
Dwayne: Forgot my wallet. Give me a break.
John Avery Whittaker: I didn't know you played the guitar, Dwayne.
Heather: He doesn't.
Dwayne: I do.
Heather: About as well as I play the tuba.
Dwayne: You don't play the tuba.
Heather: I know.
John Avery Whittaker: Okay, two chocolate milkshakes, a strawberry milkshake, and a water. I'll be right back.
Heather: Hey, Mr. Whittaker, did you give your kids lots of chores when they were our age?
John Avery Whittaker: Oh, they had a few things to do around the house, yes.
Heather: But did you make sure they had some free time too?
John Avery Whittaker: I don't think their social lives suffered much.
Heather: Exactly.
John Avery Whittaker: Don't get me wrong, daily chores and homework came first. It was a part of being a member of the family.
Heather: I've heard that one before.
John Avery Whittaker: We wanted our children to understand that chores are important, not only because of the house or the yard, but because they teach responsibility.
Heather: We know.
John Avery Whittaker: Well, so what's the problem? You don't want to do chores?
Heather: It's not that. I just don't think my parents realize how much I do.
John Avery Whittaker: Well, if you honestly think your parents are being unfair, I'd suggest you talk to them. I'm sure they'll listen to you if you have a legitimate complaint.
Heather: Yeah, that's not a bad idea. I'll write out a list of all the things I do, then sit them both down and show it to them. Then I can explain why I have too many chores. You're right, Mr. Whittaker, they'll listen, they'll have to.
Julie: Good idea. I'm going to try that.
Ivan: Maybe I will too.
Dwayne: I'll try anything to get out of garbage duty. This just might work.
Announcer: Now on the Adventures in Odyssey Club, Connie has a proposal for Whit.
John Avery Whittaker: How can I help?
Connie: By hiring someone else.
John Avery Whittaker: I was actually thinking the new manager would.
Connie: If she takes the job. What do you say?
Guest (Female): Me? This seems like it would be a fun place to work.
Guest (Male): I heard you were hiring and I'm very interested.
Penny: I'm here to apply for the job.
Announcer: Penny? New manager Connie has her first big decision to make on the Adventures in Odyssey Club. Don't miss it.
Heather: Okay, are you comfy, Mom?
Mom: Very.
Heather: Dad?
Dad: I'm all ears.
Heather: Good. I have entitled tonight's discussion, "My Time is My Castle and Chores are its Dungeon."
Dad: Dad. I'm sorry, Heather.
Mom: Oh, we're sorry, hon. Please continue.
Heather: Thank you. I consider myself a responsible person and when my parents tell me to do something, I will do it with no questions asked. I believe that for the most part I have demonstrated this unconditional obedience throughout my lifetime.
Dad: I'm sorry. Go on.
Heather: But as a responsible person, I feel I must also be responsible with the use of my time and the time I end up giving to others. It's a hard thing to really verbalize, because the way I feel about chores is something that's very emotional for me. I think maybe I had a bad experience with chores as a child and it's something I have to block out mentally now. So horrible. Because lately I've been having these nightmares. This huge vacuum cleaner is sucking up dirt off the floor, then it starts going out of control, beginning to suck up the furniture and small appliances, and finally it starts sucking the life out of me. This pie chart gives you an indication of how much my life is spent doing what. These are just approximations, but as you can see, 5% is time in school, 2% is homework, 8% is doing various things such as eating and sleeping, and approximately 85% of my time is spent doing chores. Pretty amazing, isn't it? The next section of my presentation is called "Famous Dishwashing Accidents in History." Just as a warning, this section is not for the squeamish. What you are about to hear may shock and disgust you. Look at all the other things I could be doing besides chores. I could be writing poetry, studying astronomy, visiting the elderly in nursing homes, planting a garden, buying small gifts for the orphans. So anyway, since I really can't express myself well in words, I feel I can best sum up my feelings in a song. So I've written this little ballad. It's called "Bored of Chores." Chores are the hands that squeeze my neck, the twisted metal from an emotional car wreck. Not out with the bushel or even a peck, like having 48 cards in an unfinished deck. I'm so glad my name's not Melchizedek. I would now like you to turn your attention to the movie screen where I've prepared a short slide presentation. Here I am taking out the garbage. Notice how sad I am. It's almost as if you can detect a tear in my eye. Here I am weeding the garden. I don't need to tell you how difficult those stains will be to get out. Allow me to quote from Scripture. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Now I realize that I'm not Jack and that wasn't Scripture, but I think that pretty much says it all. So in conclusion, I believe my productivity as a person would be greatly enhanced by the elimination of my current schedule of chores and replacing it with a less demanding one. Thank you.
Mom: That was very impressive.
Dad: I am floored.
Heather: You liked it?
Mom: Extremely well put together.
Dad: Very thought-provoking.
Mom: Oh, definitely.
Heather: So what do you say?
Dad: Well, I think I'm going to need some time to talk it over with your mom.
Heather: Fine. Take all the time you need. Honey, what do you think?
Mom: No.
Dad: My thoughts exactly. I'm sorry, Heather. We think the amount of chores we give you is more than fair.
Heather: But.
Mom: If anything, the number should probably be increased.
Heather: Increased?
Mom: But since you worked so hard on your presentation, we won't do that. Yet.
Dad: Yeah, we'll take it easy on you.
Heather: Thanks.
Dwayne: And then my dad started singing his own song to the tune of "Old MacDonald Had a Farm." He called it "Dwayne McOsmond Had a Mess." They were pointing out stuff in my room, a T-shirt here, a soda can there, yearbooks there, a sock everywhere. And then my mom started singing the second verse. It was like being trapped in a bad musical.
Heather: My parents were just as bad. I don't think my presentation meant anything to them.
Ivan: My folks just made me do a report on dishwasher safety using Scripture as a reference book. I'm not having much luck.
Julie: So we all struck out. I really thought they'd be more understanding. I mean, can't they see how much work we do? My list was at least a page long, single-spaced.
Heather: I wish we could go off to camp or something so they would have to do our chores for us. Then maybe they'd understand.
Ivan: Well, maybe we just should not do them.
Julie: What do you mean?
Ivan: One day we should refuse to do any of our chores.
Julie: But we'll get in trouble.
Heather: Wait a minute, I think you've got something there, Ivan. What would happen if nobody here did their chores?
Julie: I told you, we'd all get in trouble.
Heather: Think about it, Julie. Piles of unwashed dishes, messy rooms. They'd see it firsthand. The impact would be huge if a lot of us did it. Kind of like a strike.
Ivan: A strike? Hey, I know a bunch of guys who'd join a chore strike.
Heather: A chore strike, that's it.
Dwayne: Cool, we could picket in front of our houses with signs.
Heather: Yeah, we'll tell everybody at school about it. A 24-hour chore strike. We'll make up flyers, put them all over town. Every kid in Odyssey will join in. It'll be a huge event.
Dwayne: Hey, my cousin prints T-shirts. He gives me free ones sometimes when they come out crooked.
Heather: Perfect. How about buttons? Buttons are good. We need refreshments, like lemonade or snow cones or something.
Ivan: Yes. You should be the keynote speaker, Heather.
Heather: Speaker?
Ivan: We'd set up a microphone and a stand and you could give this awesome speech, you know, like they do in those big rallies in Washington, D.C.
Heather: I never thought of speaking.
Julie: You'd be great.
Ivan: She's right, you should speak.
Heather: Okay, I'm kind of liking this idea now.
Ivan: How about a warm-up act?
Heather: What do you mean?
Ivan: Me and the band can play, like a benefit concert.
Heather: You don't have a band.
Ivan: I do too.
Heather: Yeah, you, Ivan, and a couple of really bad songs.
Ivan: I told you, I came up with a chore song and it's really hip, thank you. It could be the theme song of the night.
Heather: Sounds good to me.
Ivan: Cool, our first gig.
Heather: This is great stuff. Let's schedule it for next week.
Dwayne: I'm free.
Julie: Good for me.
Heather: Okay, we have to organize some things first. Why don't we start working on a few of these ideas by ourselves and then meet back here tomorrow, okay?
Ivan: Got it, will do.
Heather: This is going to be great, guys.
Mom: Dinner's going to be a little late.
Dad: Oh, that's fine. I need to finish this report before work tomorrow. You're doing a report on pink paper?
Mom: No, what are you talking about?
Dad: The paper in the printer. What is this? Oh, Heather was working on something when I came in. Chore strike?
Mom: Huh?
Dad: Ann, did you see this?
Mom: What is it?
Dad: It's a flyer for a 24-hour chore strike this Wednesday. It says "Make sure your parents know just how much you do around the house."
Mom: You're kidding.
Dad: There's going to be T-shirts, a concert. Sounds like a pretty big deal.
Mom: Apparently. You think we should head it off before it even gets started?
Dad: No. I think I've got a better idea.
Heather: I talked to a whole bunch of people and a lot of them are interested in our chore strike.
Julie: Everybody I talked to liked the idea too. Anyway, I wrote down all of our ideas last night and printed out the flyers on our computer. Does anybody have any ideas about making picket signs and what we should put on them? Julie, why don't you make the signs? Oh, I can't do that.
Heather: Why not?
Julie: My history project's due in a couple of days and I still haven't started on it. I'm not going to have time.
Heather: Well, can either of you guys do the signs? Ivan? Dwayne?
Ivan: My creativity is limited to the field of music.
Dwayne: Yeah, what he said.
Heather: Okay, I can do the signs, I guess. Now Dwayne, you mentioned T-shirts. Did you find out anything?
Dwayne: Yeah, my cousin said he'd give us all his reject T-shirts for free.
Heather: Free? That's great.
Dwayne: Well, maybe not. They were rejected by the garbage disposal company. My cousin made the dump truck on the back the wrong color.
Heather: Oh, what about the front?
Dwayne: We can put whatever we want on the front, but he wanted to charge us 15 cents a letter, so I told him to forget it.
Heather: Well, maybe you can talk him down to 10 cents.
Dwayne: I think you're going to have to do that. I made him kind of mad when I told him no deal. He wouldn't give me a discount now if I got on my knees and begged.
Heather: Okay, all right, I'll tell you what. You give me your cousin's number and I'll do it.
Dwayne: That sounds good.
Heather: All right, the concert. Ivan, can you get the microphones and something we can use for a stage?
Ivan: No.
Heather: Why not?
Ivan: Well, I'd have to check around town and stuff. That'd take a lot of work, you know. I mean, isn't the whole point of this thing so that we have to do less work?
Heather: So you're just not going to do it.
Ivan: No, I don't think so.
Heather: I see. Okay, how about the calls? I've got a list of people who I think might be interested in coming. Who can make some calls over the next week?
Julie: You know, Heather, I'm not going to have any time.
Ivan: I'm not a phone person.
Dwayne: I don't really want to.
Heather: Fine. I'll also make the calls. Refreshments.
Ivan: You know what? I need to get going.
Dwayne: Yeah, me too.
Julie: I have some stuff I need to do. You don't mind, do you, Heather?
Heather: Oh sure, no problem. Meeting adjourned.
Julie: Well, see you, Heather.
Heather: Bye.
Ivan: It's going to be great.
Heather: Sure it is. Thank you all for coming. I really feel like everything's falling together. And landing right on top of me.
Announcer: If your kids love Adventures in Odyssey, they'll love the Young Whit book series. Each book has a mysterious adventure of a young John Avery Whittaker. That's five incredible mysteries for kids 10 years and older. Learn more at youngwhit.com. That's youngwhit.com. Want to contact us about the episode you're hearing? Visit our website at adventuresinodyssey.com or talk to someone at Focus on the Family. Call 1-800-A-FAMILY with a parent's permission, of course. We always love hearing from you.
Mom: Hi, honey.
Heather: Hi, Mom. Can I use the computer, Dad?
Dad: Sure.
Heather: Thanks. I need it for. This place is a mess. What are you doing?
Dad: Just watching a little TV.
Heather: Why are you in your pajamas? It's 5:00 in the afternoon. Did you tell her?
Mom: I didn't tell her.
Heather: Tell me what?
Dad: Well, we've got good news for you. We heard about your chore strike and we think it's a great idea, so we decided to join you.
Heather: Join me?
Mom: Sure.
Dad: We're not doing any chores for 24 hours. We were so excited, we started a little early. Hope you don't mind.
Heather: But this is supposed to be.
Mom: Supposed to be what?
Heather: Okay, I get it. I see what you're up to. Fine. Go ahead, have fun with it. I've got too much work to do.
Dad: Hey, Heather, think you could get us some more chips?
Heather: Sure. What in the world? Mom, have you seen all this laundry?
Mom: No.
Dad: Oh yeah, I passed it this afternoon when I was getting pretzels. Big pile of clothes.
Heather: Oh my. Mom, my blue blouse, remember I need to wear it tomorrow.
Mom: And?
Heather: There's stains all over it.
Mom: Oh honey, I'm sorry. We're on strike. Can't compromise ourselves, you know.
Dad: Right, we're trying to send a message.
Heather: Yeah, right. I don't have time for this. Isn't anybody going to get that?
Dad: You going to get that, Dan?
Mom: I'm not going to get it.
Dad: Looks like nobody's going to get it, Heather.
Heather: Fine. Hello? Hi, Julie. Kidding, my parents too. Yeah, I know. Okay, you call Ivan, I'll call Dwayne. We'll meet at Whit's.
Ivan: It's just too weird.
Dwayne: Yeah, my parents made all their own signs. Stuff like "We wishes for no more dishes" and "Laundry schmaundry" and "Chores are a bore," stuff like that.
Julie: The house was a total mess. The sink was filled with dirty dishes. There was paper and junk all over the floor. This isn't the way I thought it would go.
Heather: I know, I know. It's a little setback.
Ivan: Little setback? My parents are going to come out and picket with us. I don't think I can go through with this anymore. It's just too weird.
Julie: My mom is going to picket too. I asked her what she was striking against and she said "Same as you, too many chores." Doesn't this kind of destroy the point of the whole thing?
Dwayne: My parents are doing it too.
Heather: But the statement still needs to be made. I think we should go ahead with it.
Ivan: I agree.
Heather: But here's the thing. I'm never going to get all this stuff done by myself. The strike's in 24 hours and we still have to make the rest of the signs, we need to call about 50 people, we have to make sure the T-shirts are done. Oh, and there's the snow cones. So how about some help?
Julie: I have to start my project.
Ivan: I did all I could. It's just too weird.
Heather: Well, I'm sorry, but if you want to be a part of this, you're going to have to contribute.
Ivan: Have to?
Heather: Yes. If you're not going to help out, don't even bother coming. Just stay home.
Ivan: So you're making us do this stuff.
Heather: If you want to be a part of the strike, yes.
Ivan: Kind of reminds me of my parents.
Dwayne: Yeah, no kidding. I can't do a concert in front of my mom.
Julie: You know, I don't think I want to come anymore.
Ivan: Me neither. It's just too weird.
Heather: Fine. I'll do it all myself.
Ivan: Well, I hope everything works out still.
Julie: Yeah, no hard feelings, okay?
Heather: Sure. I'll see you.
Julie: I'll call you.
Ivan: We'll see you. Bye.
John Avery Whittaker: Hi, Heather. Everything okay?
Heather: Yeah, as good as can be expected.
John Avery Whittaker: How's the chore strike coming?
Heather: You heard about it?
John Avery Whittaker: Oh, you put flyers on practically every street corner. Is it coming together?
Heather: It may not have the turnout I hoped for.
John Avery Whittaker: Oh, why not? I thought most kids would jump at the chance to get out of chores. Or does this have something to do with your parents' counter-strike?
Heather: You know about that too?
John Avery Whittaker: Oh, word gets around.
Heather: They really messed things up for me.
John Avery Whittaker: You have to admit, they made their point.
Heather: They sure did. Which point?
John Avery Whittaker: The reasons why chores are so important.
Heather: Is that their point? I thought it was to embarrass me.
John Avery Whittaker: Oh no, not at all. You did that all by yourself.
Heather: Thanks a lot.
John Avery Whittaker: Oh, Heather. Doing chores is important not only for the things we said the other day, but to help prepare you for adulthood. Don't you see? Your parents don't make you do chores because they're lazy or trying to make your life difficult. They're trying to help you get ready for the future. They give you little responsibilities now so you'll be able to grow into bigger responsibilities later. Now we don't.