7 Ways Grief Can Be Used by the Enemy

1. False Guilt Is Added

False guilt comes in waves for the grieving heart. Countless should-haves fill our minds, leaving us in a puddle of regret. The enemy is an expert at heaping lies upon those in vulnerable seasons. He sees opportunities and acts on them.

Even Jesus experienced this when in the wilderness fasting for 40 days and nights. When he was physically weak with hunger, Satan tempted him with everything he could think of. But at every turn, Jesus said, “It is written,” followed by the truth and power of the Scriptures.

When the enemy brings false guilt, declare with boldness, “It is written,” and speak this passage aloud:

“Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Messiah. For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God, day and night, has been hurled down. They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony” (Revelation 12:10-11).

Friend, even in grief, always remember the victory you have in Christ. By His blood and the word of your testimony, Satan is defeated!

2. Lies Seem Truthful

In those exhausting moments of grief when it feels like the enemy has won, you might begin to believe his lies. You might be convinced:

• You will never be ok.
• God is punishing you.
• Death has overcome.
• Evil has won.

However, these lies are completely empty. They are meant to discourage and defeat you, but have no power. The sooner you recognize this, the sooner you can put a stop to them. In the name of Jesus, Satan must flee. So, speak the name of Jesus over every lie. And make no mistake about who the enemy is. As John 8:44 confirms, “He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”

As waves of grief wash over you, hold fast to the truth of the Bible like an anchor, steadfast and sure.

3. Self-Pity Is Encouraged

Genuine grief is a God-given response meant to draw us closer to Him. Self-pity, however, turns our focus inward and keeps us stuck there. And this is exactly what the enemy wants: to keep us isolated, discouraged, and lonely.

Isaiah 61 is a beautiful passage to meditate upon when self-pity is holding you down. Here’s a portion to include in your devotional time:

“He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair” (Vs. 1-3)

Allow the emotions of grief to come, recognizing them as a chance to call on the God who loves you. But resist the enemy’s snare of self-pity that turns you away from the goodness of the Lord.

4. Sorrow Is Limited

There’s no time limit to grief and the way each of us processes pain. Some might hint that it’s been long enough and we should be “over it” by now, but that’s a tactic of the enemy to make us rush through the different stages that come and go.

Your sorrow is not limited, but instead, counted by God. Psalm 56:8 assures us, “You number my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle; are they not in Your book?” No matter how many tears we cry, we are never shamed for letting them flow. The Lord can even use our tears to cleanse away debilitating grief and help us find joy again.

So, when the enemy whispers, “It’s been long enough,” turn Psalm 56:9 into a prayer of faith, which says, “When I cry out to You, then my enemies will turn back; this I know, because God is for me.”

5. Depression Feels Permanent

There are various stages of grief that some have tried to formulate into a predictable pattern, but for many of us, there’s no rhyme or reason to how we feel on any given day.

Depression is one of those stages that might feel permanent. Yet we know that God is able to heal and deliver at any moment. Only the enemy uses terms like “always” and “never” to convince us of something that was never part of God’s plan.

When the prophet Jeremiah saw his homeland of Judah destroyed and lying in ruins, he lamented, “For all these things I weep; tears flow down my cheeks. No one is here to comfort me; any who might encourage me are far away. My children have no future, for the enemy has conquered us” (Lamentations 1:16 NLT).

Jeremiah was convinced there was no one to comfort him and that his children had no future. And while his circumstances were extremely difficult, his ultimate hope was in God.

In Jeremiah 17:7-8, he said, “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”

Feelings of depression are normal, but not permanent. With God’s help, we can rise from the ashes and be fruitful again.

6. Fear Is Overwhelming

Loss is something nobody wants to face, but when we do, it can cause overwhelming fear that we’ll suffer loss again. Fear is one of the strongest emotions the enemy uses to create panic and convince us that more bad things are going to happen.

The Bible dispels this notion by saying, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love’ (1 John 4:18).

The New Life Version says it this way: “There is no fear in love. Perfect love puts fear out of our hearts. People have fear when they are afraid of being punished. The man who is afraid does not have perfect love.”

When dealing with grief, the last thing we need is added fear. Instead, we can say with confidence, “I refuse to partner with fear any longer; I only partner with God’s truth!”

7. Grief Becomes Divisive

One unexpected thing that sometimes happens in grief is the division among friends and family. How the enemy loves it when we’re at odds with each other, because one of his main goals is to steal, kill, and destroy.

Grief is divisive when:

• We refuse to let go of offense.
• We judge others for how they process loss.
• We avoid or push people away.
• We allow grief to make our hearts bitter.

Be aware of the enemy’s sly way of creating division. Do the opposite by leaning on trusted friends to walk with you, and call on close family members to support you when needed.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!”

Surround yourself with loving, encouraging people to lift you up. This is the way God designed us to walk in fellowship with one another and navigate unsteady seasons of grief.

Lord, please make me aware of the enemy’s interference as I process my grief. I don’t know how long it will take to move through the stages, but I know You are with me through them all. In Jesus’ name, amen.

More Resources for Your Journey:

6 Ways God Walks with Us in Our Grief

What to Do When Grief Ambushes Us

A Prayer for Comfort When Grief Feels Overwhelming