We Are All Blind Beggars
Heart Happy
Audio By Carbonatix
It’s a question that can stop us in our tracks if we’re brave enough to answer it: What have I been begging for?
We don’t like to think of ourselves as beggars. We put on our best outfits, we smile for the photos, and we show up to our lives looking like we have it all together. But if we were to invite shame researcher Brené Brown to sit down with us over coffee, she might gently point out that many of us are “hustling for our worthiness.” She talks about that deep, aching need for connection and how, when we don’t feel worthy of love just as we are, we start performing. We start pleasing. We start perfecting. In essence, we start begging.
The Blind Beggar in All of Us
We beg for validation. We beg for approval. We beg to be seen. And often, these desperate outstretched hands of our souls are reaching back to the little girls we once were—longing for something we didn’t get.
For me, that longing was shaped by an empty space where a father should have been. I didn’t know my biological dad. And while I had a stepfather, he was a Vietnam War veteran battling the invisible, heavy chains of PTSD. Our home was often a landscape of survival, not the safe harbor of affection I craved.
So, like so many of us do, I went looking for love in the only places I thought I could find it. At a young age, I realized that guys would pay attention to me if I gave them what they wanted. It was a transaction I was willing to make because I was starving. I gave my body for that attention, mistaking the temporary warmth of a gaze for the permanent security of love.
The cost was higher than I could have imagined. At age seventeen, I found myself pregnant and abandoned by my boyfriend. The validation I had begged for evaporated, leaving me with a terrifying reality and a broken heart. I felt more unloved, more unseen, and more unworthy than ever before.
Alone and Spiritually Blind
It was there, in that pit of rejection, that I finally realized I was spiritually blind. For all those years, I thought I was seeing clearly—chasing what I needed. But I had been blind to what my heart actually desired. I had been begging for scraps of affection from broken people when I was designed for the whole, consuming love of God.
That is when I came to Jesus. I came not as a girl who had it together, but as a blind beggar.
There is a story in Mark 10 that creates such a vivid picture of this. As Jesus and His disciples are leaving Jericho, they pass a man named Bartimaeus.
"And they came to Jericho. And as he was leaving Jericho with his disciples and a great crowd, Bartimaeus, a blind beggar, the son of Timaeus, was sitting by the roadside. And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out and say, 'Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!'" (Mark 10:46-47, ESV)
The crowd tried to silence him. They told him to be quiet, to stop making a scene, to stop embarrassing himself. Isn’t that just like the world? When we finally get desperate enough to cry out for what we really need, the world tells us to hush. Keep pretending. Keep hustling. Don’t let them see your need.
But Bartimaeus cried out all the more.
"And Jesus stopped and said, 'Call him.' And they called the blind man, saying to him, 'Take heart. Get up; he is calling you.' And throwing off his cloak, he sprang up and came to Jesus." (Mark 10:49-50, ESV)
I love that detail—he threw off his cloak. That cloak was his security. It was his identity as a beggar. It was likely the only thing he owned to keep him warm. But when Jesus called, he left his old identity behind in the dirt.
Jesus asked him a question that He asks you and me today: “What do you want me to do for you?”
Bartimaeus asked for his sight. He wanted to see. When I came to Jesus at seventeen, pregnant and scared, I was asking to see, too. I wanted to see my worth. I wanted to see a future. And just like Bartimaeus, my faith made me well. Not because my circumstances instantly became easy, but because I was no longer begging the world for a love it could never give. I had found the Source.
The freedom comes when we realize we don’t have to beg anymore. We are not orphans scrapping for leftovers. We are daughters of the King. We don’t have to trade our bodies, our peace, or our integrity for attention. We have the full, undivided attention of the Creator of the Universe.
Questions to Ask Yourself:
- What is the “cloak” I am holding onto for security instead of running to Jesus?
- In my relationships, am I “hustling for worthiness” or resting in the assurance that I am already loved?
- If Jesus asked me right now, “What do you want me to do for you?” what would my honest answer be?
- Is there a childhood wound I have been trying to heal with temporary, worldly bandages?
A Prayer for the Heart That is Done Begging:
Lord, I am tired of the hustle. I am tired of holding out my cup to people who can never fill it. Forgive me for looking for life in broken cisterns when You are the Living Water. I confess that, like Bartimaeus, I have been blind to my own worth and blind to Your presence. Thank You that You stop for me. You don’t walk past my cries. Today, I throw off the cloak of “beggar” and I put on the robe of “daughter.”
Thank You that I don’t have to earn Your gaze. As Your Word says in Psalm 45:11, “The King is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord.” Let that truth sink deep into my marrow today. You are enthralled by me. You love me. I am seen, I am known, and I am Yours. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Discover Your Unique Purpose in God’s Story
We all desire a deeper connection with God. The Every Woman’s Bible is a powerful resource designed to help you find your place in His plan. This study Bible includes insights from over one hundred women scholars and writers from around the globe. Their contributions offer cultural and historical clarity to help you understand the Bible’s context.
You can explore engaging study notes and devotionals that address real-life topics. It includes access to the Filament Bible app, which connects you to over 25,000 additional study notes and videos. Whether you choose the New Living Translation or the King James Version, this Bible will help you clarify your God-given purpose through serious study.
Click here to get your copy: Every Woman’s Bible
Recommended Resources for Your Journey
If the ache of “hustling for worthiness” resonated with you today, I want to share three books that have been part of my own journey from begging to belonging.
Walk It Out
In the blog post, we talked about Bartimaeus throwing off his cloak. This book is about that exact moment of surrender. It is for the woman who is ready to leave behind the safety of her old identity and step into the wild adventure of trusting God completely. In Walk it Out, I share more of my own story and invite you to discover the freedom of a life with nothing hidden.
Heart Happy
We often beg for validation because we feel empty inside. Heart Happy is a gentle guide to filling that space with the only thing that satisfies. If you are tired of looking for love in broken cisterns, this book will help you tune into God’s voice and find a deep, resonant joy that doesn’t depend on your circumstances or your performance.
Take the Next Step in Your Journey
If you’ve ever felt like that blind beggar, reaching out for anything to fill the ache in your soul, you know that the only thing that truly satisfies is the Word of God. We don’t have to “hustle for our worthiness” when we are grounded in the truth of who He says we are.
That is why I am so excited to invite you to join us at The Daily Bible Podcast.
Every day, we sit down together to read through the Scriptures. We dive into the context of the Bible to see how God’s story intersects with our own messy, beautiful lives.
Why You’ll Love the Podcast:
- Daily Grounding: We walk through the Bible chronologically, helping you see the big picture of God’s love for you.
- Real Conversation: We talk about the hard stuff—the “cloaks” we carry and the ways we try to find sight on our own.
- Community: You aren’t sitting by the roadside alone. Join a group of women learning to hear the Master’s call together.
As I shared in Heart Happy, “When we fill our hearts with God’s truth, the world’s whispers of ‘not enough’ start to fade away” (Goyer, 2021).
Don’t let another day go by feeling spiritually hungry. Come sit with us, open your Bible, and let’s see what Jesus wants to do for you today.
Listen and Subscribe on Substack: The Daily Bible Coffee Club
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Weekly readings for the Daily Bible Podcast with Tricia and Michelle
March 30
Joshua 22-24
God Has a Homeland
In these chapters, we witness Joshua bidding farewell to the Israelites, urging them to remain faithful to God’s commands. We see the tribes of Reuben, Gad, and the half-tribe of Manasseh returning home east of the Jordan River, as promised. However, a misunderstanding arises when they build an altar, causing tension among the tribes. Joshua’s parting words emphasize the importance of serving the Lord wholeheartedly, urging the people to forsake idolatry and commit to God alone.
Leading in our Homeland
Just as Joshua took responsibility for the spiritual direction of the Israelites, we’re called to lead our families in faith. Whether as parents, siblings, or guardians, we can model Christ-like behavior, prioritize family prayer and Bible study, and create an environment that fosters spiritual growth and love.
Word of the Day: Homeland
Definition: One’s native land; a region created or considered as a state by or for a people of a particular ethnic origin.
God has given the Israelites a homeland—a place to call their own and worship Him freely. Similarly, our homes serve as our spiritual homelands, where we cultivate faith, love, and obedience to God.
Prioritizing Our Relationship with God
Joshua’s call to “love the Lord your God, walk in all his ways, obey his commands, hold firmly to him, and serve him with all your heart and all your soul” (Joshua 22:5) resonates with us today. Let’s prioritize our relationship with God by incorporating prayer, Bible study, and Christian values into our daily lives, both individually and as a family.
March 31
Judges 1-2, 3:1-30
Facing Turmoil
After the death of Joshua, the tribes of Israel sought to conquer the land of Canaan as God had commanded them. However, they faced some resistance from the Canaanites in certain areas, and the tribes did not always work together. Despite some successes, there were also areas where the Israelites failed to drive out the Canaanites completely. This will lead to future problems.
After the conquest of Canaan, Joshua died, and the people of Israel entered a new period of history. The book of Judges records the stories of various leaders, called judges, who emerged during this time to help the Israelites when they faced oppression from their enemies. However, the people often turned away from God and faced consequences as a result. This cycle of sin, oppression, repentance, and deliverance repeated itself throughout the period of the judges.
Then we are introduced to the first three judges: Othniel, Ehud, and Shamgar. The people of Israel again turned away from God and began to worship other gods, which led to God allowing them to be oppressed by their enemies. Othniel, the first judge, delivered the people from oppression by the king of Aram. Ehud, the second judge, killed the oppressive king of Moab. But we have to talk about the end of today’s reading.
The Conquest of Canaan
Following Joshua’s death, They encountered several challenges along the way, including strong opposition from the Canaanites.
Despite the Israelites’ victories, they failed to completely conquer the land. Judges 1:27-36 mentions several tribes that were not driven out completely, and these groups continued to pose a threat to Israel in the years to come.
Word of the Day: Conquest
Definition: Anything acquired by conquering, as a nation, a territory, or spoils.
Failed Conquest
Judges 2 begins with a reminder of God’s commands to the Israelites to remain faithful and obedient, but the people quickly turned away from God and began to worship the false gods of the surrounding nations. This cycle of disobedience, oppression, repentance, and deliverance would continue throughout the book of Judges.
As the name of the book suggests, the judges play a central role in the narrative. These leaders were raised up by God to deliver the Israelites from their oppressors and to lead them back to obedience to God. Even the best leaders cannot help people who don’t want to be led.
God’s Faithfulness
Despite the Israelites’ disobedience and unfaithfulness, God remained faithful to his covenant promises.
Let’s dive deeper into the complexities of Israel’s journey through Judges, learning from their triumphs and failures, and seeking to apply these timeless lessons to our lives today.
April 1
Judges 3:31, Judges 4-6
Marching with God
Today’s readings from the book of Judges might seem daunting at first glance, but they hold valuable insights that resonate with our lives today. As we journey through these chapters, let’s explore how God’s sovereignty, His call to obedience, and His unwavering presence intersect with our daily experiences.
The Power of Reading
In a world inundated with various messages and truths, the Bible stands as a beacon of absolute truth. Jesus Himself proclaimed the sanctity of God’s Word, emphasizing its role in shaping our understanding of Him and His divine plan. So, every moment spent in diligent study of the Scriptures is a step towards knowing our Creator more intimately.
Insights from Judges
Our readings commence with an intriguing account of Shamgar, who, armed with nothing but an ox goad, achieved a remarkable feat under God’s guidance. This seemingly insignificant weapon underscores the reality that true strength comes from God alone. Moreover, we encounter recurring phrases like “in the Lord’s sight” and “God turned them over,” which highlight His omnipresence and His allowance of consequences for disobedience.
Lessons from Deborah and Gideon
Deborah, a woman of wisdom and leadership, exemplifies God’s ability to use ordinary individuals for extraordinary purposes. Her collaboration with Barak demonstrates the synergy between human effort and divine intervention. Similarly, Gideon’s story showcases God’s patience and persistence in guiding His chosen ones, despite their doubts and shortcomings. Both narratives underscore the importance of trusting in God’s promises and following His lead, even when it seems daunting.
Word of the Day: Marching
Definition: To walk in a military manner with a regular measured tread.
Applications for Today
Reflecting on these biblical accounts, we find timeless truths that resonate with our lives. Just as God marched ahead of His people in ancient times, He continues to pave the way for us today. His eyes roam the earth, seeking hearts fully committed to Him, ready to strengthen and guide them. We are urged to recognize His presence in our past, present, and future, acknowledging His faithfulness in every step of our journey.
As we conclude our reflections on Judges, let’s embrace the assurance that God is always ahead of us, leading us triumphantly through life’s battles. Let’s march forward with confidence, knowing that His Word lights our path and His Spirit empowers us for the journey ahead. May we, like the heroes of old, respond to His call with courage and obedience, trusting in His unfailing love and guidance.
April 2
Judges 7-8, Judges 9:1-21
Conquest
As Gideon prepares to confront the Midianites and Amalekites, God instructs him to reduce his army, demonstrating that victory comes not from human might but from divine intervention. With just 300 men, armed with trumpets and torches, Gideon achieves a miraculous triumph over his enemies, showcasing the power of trusting in God’s guidance and provision.
Word of the Day: Consequences
Definition: a result or effect of an action or condition.
Consequences of Choices
Following his victory, Gideon encounters the consequences of his actions, both positive and negative. His interactions with the people of Succoth and Penuel reveal the importance of honoring alliances and the repercussions of neglecting to support one another. Furthermore, Gideon’s acceptance of gold and subsequent creation of a sacred ephod lead to familial tragedy, highlighting the dangers of straying from God’s commands.
Lessons for Today
Gideon’s story serves as a timeless reminder of the impact of leadership and the significance of honoring God above all else. We are challenged to examine our choices and their consequences, recognizing that even seemingly small decisions can have far-reaching effects on ourselves and future generations. Let us heed the cautionary tale of Gideon’s missteps and strive to lead with wisdom, integrity, and unwavering devotion to God.
Personal Reflections
As we ponder Gideon’s journey, let us reflect on our own lives and the consequences of our choices. Just as Gideon faced both triumph and tragedy, we too must grapple with the outcomes of our actions. Yet, amidst the challenges, we find solace in the mercy of God, who can turn even our mistakes into opportunities for growth and redemption.
April 3
Judges 9:22-57, Judges 10, Judges 11:1-28
Unraveling Consequences
The saga of Abimelech, a tale of treachery and violence, unfolds as his misdeeds come back to haunt him. God’s spirit stirs trouble, leading to Abimelech’s demise and the destruction of those who supported his tyranny.
Lessons from History
Reflecting on Deuteronomy’s warnings, we see the tragic fulfillment of divine curses upon those who forsake God’s covenant. The fate of Shechem and Abimelech serves as a sobering reminder of the consequences of turning away from God.
Hope Amidst Chaos
Amidst the turmoil, we encounter the story of Jephthah, a flawed yet faithful leader. His journey exemplifies the complex interplay of faith and folly, reminding us of the mercy and redemption God extends to His people.
Reflection and Application
As we navigate life’s choices, let us heed the lessons of Scripture. Just as Gideon’s family faced the repercussions of their actions, we, too must confront the consequences of our decisions. Yet, amidst the turmoil, we find hope in Christ’s redemptive work, offering forgiveness and grace in the face of our shortcomings.
Word of the Day: Cursed
Definition: To be placed under or afflicted with a curse.
From divine pronouncements to the consequences of human folly, curses serve as a stark reminder of the gravity of our choices.
Personal Takeaway
Let us humbly acknowledge our shortcomings and seek forgiveness for our mistakes. In Christ, we find redemption from the curses of sin, offering hope and renewal in the midst of life’s trials.
Join us on the Daily Bible Podcast as we delve deeper into the lessons of Judges and uncover the timeless truths of God’s Word. Together, let us navigate life’s journey with faith, wisdom, and a steadfast commitment to following God’s will.
April 4
Judges 11:29-40, Judges 12-15
Jephthah and Samson
We delve into the story of Jephthah, whose solemn vow leads to unforeseen consequences. Although the outcome remains ambiguous, we witness the seriousness with which God regards our promises.
Shibboleth vs. Sibboleth
Explore the intriguing linguistic test devised by the Gileadites to distinguish friend from foe. Reflect on the diversity of language and the subtle nuances it brings to our understanding.
Samson’s Struggles
Uncover the complexities of Samson’s character as he grapples with desires and consequences. Despite his flaws, we discern God’s hand at work, orchestrating events to fulfill His greater purpose.
Divine Intervention
Amidst human folly, we find solace in the knowledge that God can use even the foolish to accomplish His plans. Let us humble ourselves before Him, acknowledging our weaknesses and seeking His guidance.
Word of the Day: Foolish
Definition: Resulting from or showing a lack of sense; lacking forethought or caution.
Reflect on the dangers of pride and foolishness, which often go hand in hand. Let us heed the warning of Scripture and guard against the arrogance that leads to destruction.
Applications
Consider the link between pride and foolish decisions, recognizing the importance of humility in our walk with God. Despite our shortcomings, trust in God’s ability to use even the most flawed individuals for His glory.
April 5
Judges 16-18
Strength in Surrender
Oh, Samson. Sin keeps knocking, and he keeps opening the door. From his encounter with Delilah to the dramatic climax, Samson’s life is a rollercoaster of triumphs and tragedies. But amidst the chaos, we see God’s hand at work, using even Samson’s mistakes for His purpose.
Samson’s life is a series of ups and downs, from his superhuman feats to his downfall at the hands of Delilah. But through it all, God’s plan unfolds, showcasing His power and sovereignty.
In the midst of Samson’s story, we also encounter Micah, a man who breaks countless rules in his pursuit of spirituality. Despite his misguided efforts, God’s hand is still evident, reminding us that even in our failings, He remains faithful.
Word of the Day: Strong
Definition: Having, showing, or able to exert great bodily or muscular power; physically vigorous or robust.
Samson’s strength was legendary, but it ultimately came from God. As we reflect on Samson’s story, let’s remember that true strength comes from our reliance on God, not our own abilities.
Applications
1. Trust in God’s Justice: Even when it seems like evil prevails, God’s justice will ultimately prevail. Let’s trust in His timing and remain faithful in the face of adversity.
2. God Uses the Foolish: Just as God used Samson, flawed and foolish as he was, He can use each of us for His purpose. Let’s surrender our weaknesses to Him and trust in His ability to work through us.
